Credit: AFP
I can't shake the feeling that Shatner has let the team down. That's team as in humankind, and Shatner - well, you know who he is.
Not long ago, around the time Star Trek was marking its 40th anniversary, William Shatner decided against tagging along on Virgin Galactic's first foray into space, slated for 2008.
His reason: something to do with fiery crashes, vomiting in space and wanting a guarantee that he'd come back.
To which I say: take a motion sickness pill, wear fire-resistant drawers, and there are no guarantees in this life, as we all know.
This means that Captain Kirk (for he'll hardly go down in history as T.J. Hooker) won't even meekly go where others have gone before. Not that this is the first time we've seen chinks in the great one's armour.
In the early 90s, the guy who never had any trouble recording his captain's log told TV Guide he couldn't figure out his VCR. Recently he confessed to Wired magazine that he didn't "know how a computer works".
Come on, you say. He's Shatner, for criminy's sake. He's not really Captain Kirk and he doesn't have the right stuff - and we shouldn't expect him to. He's an actor (who may suffer from the delusion that he's also a singer - but the less said about that the better) and he doesn't owe any debts to humankind.
Or does he? For all Shatner's carping about overzealous fans and the TV series that wouldn't die, Star Trek's actually been very good to him. Not to belabour the Hooker thing, but how many blockbuster movies were based on that series? How many scores of Star Trek-themed sci-fi books has Shatner penned, or at least lent his name to? How about those Priceline commercials? Do you think he got them based on the renown he garnered from Kingdom of the Spiders, back in 1977?
If for no other reason than the fact that he inflicted his singing - or whatever you call it - on us, Shatner owes it to humankind to grab a barf bag and suit up.
And it has to be Shatner, when you get down to it. For the idea of manned space exploration hasn't been knocking anyone's socks off lately, and the news that Madonna - perhaps weary of living in a material world - is heading spaceward in a Russian capsule in 2009 may not be enough to change that.
If you agree that we need more manned space missions, you'll probably also agree that we need a figurehead, someone who can get people looking skyward again. Sadly enough, the way the world works these days, that person will probably be a celebrity.
After all, people notice when Bono tackles poverty in Africa, or when George Clooney condemns Sudanese genocide, or when Brad Pitt takes on rebuilding the Gulf Coast. So why shouldn't Shatner be the logical choice to rekindle our interest in manned space exploration?
Who else could fill this role? Leonard Nimoy? Spock wasn't really the leader type. Patrick Stewart? I don't think so. Stephen Hawking? Too brainy. Mark Hammill? Oh, for crying out loud.
The only other person who might pull it off would be the guy who first boldly went - to the Moon, in this case. But alas, it seems that Neil Armstrong was content to splash down and blend into the woodwork.
Should we even be concerned if few people seem to give a damn about manned space exploration anymore? And aren't unmanned missions more practical and economical than manned ones anyway? Yes and yes.
But a manned mission to Mars - the logical terminus for our next push into the heavens - isn't necessarily about making sense. If you don't understand why, stop and think about some of the most amazing words ever spoken: "That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind."
For it was on the day they were spoken (just weeks after Star Trek's demise, trivia fans) that it seemed like human beings had managed to get something right for a change - even if it was done mostly for the wrong reasons.
So to Shatner, I say buck up and do this one for the team. Maybe it'll just be a silly joyride into space or maybe it'll be something more - like a spark.
And Bill, if you do change your mind, here's the most important thing to remember: don't wear a red shirt.
William I. Lengeman III is a regular contributer to the 'reviews' section of COSMOS magazine
James Tiberius Kirk chickening out
Well, Bones and (I believe) Scotty are dead - but an obvious choice that you did not mention is Lt. Uhura - Nichelle Nichols - who I think is still alive - she has, I think, done a lot of publicity work for NASA, serving a double purpose - attracting both blacks and women into the space program - but as you say, she should not wear a red shirt - and certainly not go behind the big rock!!
Alan Kenway
Captain Kirk
You said it yourself in the article - William Shatner is an actor, give the guy a break.
I notice you picked on the character Captain Kirk, what about Commander Adama and Captain Sheriden and Commander Koenig and Buck Rogers and flash gordon? Do you have a personal grudge against Mr Shatner.