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More chores = more sex

Friday, 7 March 2008
Agence France-Presse
More chores = more sex

Cleaner sex: Men in many countries around the world are engaging in more chores, which may be leading to an increase in intimacy amongst couples.

Credit: iStockphoto

WASHINGTON: Men seeking more frequent intimate conjunctions with their partners could do well to take the bins out. And maybe wash a few dishes.

This is the observation made in a new paper released on Thursday by Council of Contemporary Families (CCF), which reports that American men have doubled the amount of housework they do and may be having better sex because of it.

"By and large, the more men do around the house, the happier women are," said sociologist Scott Coltrane of the University of California, Riverside, a co-author of the report published.

Cleaning the pool

"When men do more of the housework, women's perceptions of fairness and marital satisfaction rise and the couple experience less marital conflict," the report says.

The reward for menfolk who help out around the house could be more sex. "We sociologists generally don't go there, but therapists say there's a direct correlation" between men doing more housework and the frequency of sex, said Coltrane.

In a comment posted on the CCF website, psychologist Joshua Coleman agreed that sharing household chores "is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction - and sometimes more sex, too!"

"Wives report greater feelings of sexual interest and affection for husbands who participate in housework," Coleman, who is a senior fellow at the CCF, said.

Housework habits

In addition to doing more boring chores around the home, American men spend three times more time with their kids today than they did in 1960, the study said. The time women spend with their children has doubled, it said, speculating that both mothers and fathers have set higher parenting standards for themselves.

But all that time spent parenting could have a negative effect on a couple's intimate relationship. "The increase in parenting hours on the part of both husbands and wives may pose some threats to the couple relationship since many couples have increased their time with their children by eliminating or greatly reducing time for romance," Coleman wrote.

Happily, though, the phenomenon of men chipping in around the home appears to be global, Coltrane said, citing work by co-author Oriel Sullivan, a woman, who is a professor of sociology at Ben Gurion University in Israel.

"Men everywhere are doing more," said Coltrane. "Even Italian men and Spanish men are doing more...not huge amounts but more than they used to," he said.

Sexual equality

Even if men still lag far behind women in terms of what they do around the house, they are moving in the right direction and the gains are unlikely to be reversed, the report summarised.

"Men are still only doing half as much as women do, but we see the bar inching up and we think the process is irreversible," said Coltrane.

The hard-earned gains have been made in spite of the poor social support system for working families in the United States, the report said.

"The U.S. guarantees no paid leave for mothers in any segment of the work force, leaving it in the company of only Lesotho, Liberia, Papua New Guinea, and Swaziland," the report said, referencing a study published last month.

The full report on men and women sharing household tasks is to be presented at the CCF's annual conference next month in Chicago.

Readers' comments

Woman Will Toss Occasional Low Grade Sex for Housework

Since we have a lady that comes in every two weeks, a service that cuts the lawns, automatic watering systems. I come home and work on the house, pool, repairs etc while my wife doesn't have a outside job. You article has led me to the conclusion that I, like most men are being screwed. We are tossed tiny sexual carrots for work. It's not the type we want, though we suck it up and take it as it's all that is offered - for today....

Men of the world, break the silence. Tell your boys. Beware, run, use false names but don't get in s situation like this offer is describing.
They can do better.

women want this, women want that...

for years I have been bothered by the way articles such as this put the importance on men pleasing woman. What happened to equallity? My ex-wife never cut the grass, fixed the car, the house, or did routine mens work. What happened to men and woman assuming gender based work? I never got credit for cutting the grass, sharpening the lawnmower blade at the right angle, but was expected to do half the house work. I worked outside the house, she didn't have to work if she didn't want to, and she never did in the house either. I commuted extra time because she wants a house in the burbs but don't get credit for it. I work hard physically as an industrial electrician and make exceptional money and benifits, my ex-wife gave up a promising carrer as a waitress and never pursued anything other than smoking, drinking, nagging, and getting fat. I am now a very, very happy bachellor dating as I want, doing my own laundry as I want. I noticed a substancial decrease in "housework" without her and no nagging about headaches or her time of the month. I wake up energized, happy, and free. A relationship is 50/50. Giving and taking. To much emphasis on the woman. Women have deteriated over the years and men have definatly gotten better. Men are just suckers because of their labidos...

You Go Guys!

You're right, relationships should be 50/50. But they are very hard to come by. When I was married years ago, I was raising the children, doing the housework, cutting the grass & tending to other outside chores, blowing the snow in the winter, tending to the livestock, etc. etc., plus working two jobs. It amazes me, looking back on those years of how I did it, and the sad thing was, it was never enough for my husband.
I'm not taking sides or anything but I think that if the ladies out there want more help inside the house from their mate, then they should be doing their fair share outside the house.
To me, if my man is working long hours at a very demanding and physical job I wouldn't expect him to do housework, mind you I can imagine that doing dishes could be fun together...
What really gets me is when the guy is out busting his butt and the lady isn't, yet she will still complain and nag over him not helping out.
It would be nice to have a partner on the same wavelength as ones self; chip in, get the chores so that leaves more quality time together.
After all these years I am still doing the "male" and "female" roles, with a huge difference, now with being single and the children out on their own, it's only myself I have to pick up after. Other than that, not much has changed, that's why I think every man and woman should know how to accomplish, for the most part, the others role. For who knows, one day you may find yourself sitting alone and even worse, sitting alone without the knowledge of how to do laundry or start a lawnmower.

Be Happy

I don't understand why so many things revolves around sex.
The way things are sounding it's like giving a child a piece of candy for doing a good deed...so you do your share of housework and you'll get lucky....Is that what relationships have come to?....What ever happened to being a team? Whatever happened to doing things just because you want to? Whatever happened to wanting to please each other? What ever happened to enjoying one another? (You get the idea)
With so many couples both working outside the home now a days, it only makes sense that inside the home (and outdoors, for example, cutting the grass)that everyone would do their part so they have more "Special" time together. It almost sounds like so many of you have to plan or book in your special time alone together. Yes life can go at a very fast pace, to fast by times, but everyone needs to slow down alittle, even for a few hours and enjoy the simple things in life and enjoy every moment you have together. For one day you will wake up and your life as you know it will no longer be there. Could be due to an illness, loss of income, accident,seperation or death. Who wants to look back and say, "Oh I wish I would of did more for him / her ...Why didn't we have more special alone time together?...Why?..Why?..Why?....
I would much rather be able to look back and remember... how it was fun to do the dishes together (any chores inside or out applies)....how wet we got when washing the car....how cleaning the bath tub turned into a candle lite bubblebath for two....how we couldn't seem to even pass each other in the hall without touching one another, how we didn't even have to say a word to one another, we just knew what the other needed, whether it was a hug, a massage or a kind word.
For I feel that God brings two people together for a reason and I'm sure that reason is not for nagging over the chores.
The world will continue to go at a fast pace and what we need to do is stop and think of what brought us together as a couple in the first place and try to get that back.

Re: Be Happy

You have the "wisest" words of the bunch so far.

Sex /Housework

I am amazed at the ridiculous responses by men whose "labados" are compelling them to look at their female partners with such disdain. Therein lies the problem in the first place. In the end everyone loses when couples fight (or go to their corners) year after year, instead of cooperating with each other.

Married for forty years to someone, whose final act was to take out the garbage on his way to find a new life, where he thought he would find someone whose only purpose on this earth was to administer to HIS needs, I stood there in relief.

Now I am independent, no longer wearing an albatross around my neck and doing less housework, for which, by the way I WAS REWARDED with sex. But who needs it under those circumstances?

Right on !! I totally agree

Right on !! I totally agree with you. The pace of life has become way too fast. Everyone should stop and 'smell the roses' more often. Appreciate what you have....life is short. Don't worry..be happy !!

Be Happy

I couldn't agree more....wise words...let's put them into action. And I like the word "team!"

women want this, women want that........

Although I am a woman, I strongly agree with this man. I work outside of the home as well as my husbend. We don't have chores that are "woman's" or "men's" - we have chores that need to be done. I have learned how to look after my van, he has learned how to iron. If it needs to be done, it gets done. He cares for the kids as much as I do, and I do as much yard work as he does. We both share the household chores and the bills.
I think a lot more marriages would last more then a few years if the chores are everybodies and both men and weman stopped, " ...drinkin, nagging, and getting fat." But what do I know... I am just a simple woman......

Excellent comment - I

Excellent comment - I completely agree. Chores are things that have to be done to keep our lives in order. Two people working to get them done are better and faster than one! Some chores get selected by preferences or skill however, it is always good to get your feet wet and learn something new.