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Our many researchers, engineers, alchemists, software developers, physicists, astronomers, Reiki healers, mediums, neurologists, quality assurance technicians, alien consultants, phrenologists, and massage therapists are dedicated to bringing you the best in cutting edge solutions.

In short, we deliver tomorrow – today. How do we do it? The truth is that nobody works alone. It takes a village, or at least a crowded city bus, which none of us ride anymore because of our generous stock and savings plan. We're rich; we can afford to take a cab.

Anyway, without stealing many ideas presented over the years by starving science fiction writers, we wouldn't be the kind of galactic success story that drives our competitors to suicidal despair. We've even borrowed the name of our company from the title of a book by Robert A. Heinlein. Clearly, we have no shame.

The growing Waldo and Magic financial empire is based on a very simple idea: take a classic science fictional trope and extrapolate like there's no tomorrow, which is quite possible since we really have no clue how much damage some of our products might be doing.

For example, our latest effort, a transporter device modelled on that used in Star Trek, seems to mix matter and energy to an alarming degree. The last prototype, although quite sleek and stylish in design, did wipe out much of New Zealand. These things happen.

No discussion of our company is complete without a brief description of our greatest success stories:

The faster than light (FTL) drive: Long considered an impossible goal by reputable physicists, the FTL turned out to be no big deal when we handed development over to a group of disreputable physicists. These drunken, fun-loving dudes don't believe in playing by the rules or adhering to the tiresome laws of motion and relativity, or any laws at all, really, which is why so many local women have pressed charges. Anyway, the key term here is workaround. If you can't travel faster than the speed of light, just game the system and slow down the speed of light. What difference does it all make? The cable guy is still going to show up late, if he shows up at all.

Bed and breakfasts for nanobots: Nanobots work hard. We think they should play hard, too. That's why we launched our successful chain of bed and breakfasts for these cute little mechanical guys, who need a rest after kicking the tiny butts of rogue cancer cells or tackling troublesome surface tension while trying to fix your clogged sink. Needless to say, group activities are particularly popular with the nanobot contingent, who love nothing more than to take long bus tours of the nearest silverware drawer. Our initial investment was low, since we only needed one bed and nanobots don't eat breakfast, and profits are now soaring.

Terraforming on a shoestring: Everyone knows that terraforming can be an expensive proposition. The average planet is nothing but trouble, and the natives get unreasonably upset when you move their lame little mountain ranges and oceans in order to build that great casino. But our nuclear terraforming kits provide a cost-effective solution with minimal collateral damage. Well, okay, the damage is sometimes hard to control, but you can't argue with our rapid results. We stand by our products even if they leave nobody else standing. Besides, if you're after low impact terraforming, we suggest using a shovel.

The singularity sensation: At Waldo and Magic, we've managed to develop artificial intelligence that exceeds humanity's own. On the other hand, is this really saying all that much? How bright is the average human? Have you read anyone's blog lately? Most other species are too polite to point this out, but humanity has a reputation for being a bit, well, challenged. Still, our AI software is second to none. It can resolve deep philosophical issues, solve staggering mathematical problems, and even figure out how to use the remote control on most DVD players.

We here at the Waldo and Magic Company are proud of our past and eager to meet the challenges of the future. We look forward to serving you in any way that helps make us even more profit. Because at the Waldo and Magic Company, we deliver tomorrow – today.