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Loop

Credit: Markku Lahdesmaki/Corbis

After that, my memories are patchy. Opening my eyes briefly: darkness. No pain, but my head felt wrong, as if it had ... changed shape. And I couldn't think properly. Like being drugged, nothing quite made sense. I couldn't understand what was happening…

Blackness.

An unknown amount of time later, a woman's voice, talking to someone. Her voice seemed to echo as though she were in a large room. She sounded calm and … familiar. Much closer to me there was a click-hiss, click-hiss noise that seemed to be making my chest rise and fall.

Blackness.

I felt a hand squeeze mine. I think I might have squeezed it back. Odour of plastic.

Blackness.

Raised voices. Some pressure, like a distant pounding on my chest. It seemed so far away.

Blackness.

A woman's voice, muffled as though speaking through a wall. The voice was somehow comforting.

Blackness.

My eyes seemed glued shut, but I could feel movement. I was being carried somewhere. I tried to shift my position, but was somehow being restrained.

Blackness.

I began to wake up more and more. Each time, I couldn't see anything, but often heard the same muffled woman's voice, and occasionally a man's voice in the distance. I began to try to move, weakly twitching my arms and legs. Sometimes I felt movement as something soft bumped into me. I vaguely realised that I was not breathing, yet this seemed to cause me no alarm.

Abruptly, everything around me changed. The woman's voice was louder. Other voices. Things pushed at me from all sides. I was being squeezed out of my bed like toothpaste from a tube. My head seemed as malleable as a balloon – I could feel it deform as I was pushed through a hole that seemed far too small. My whole body was squashed and stretched like a rubbery superhero and then … everything was bright and shockingly cold.

I couldn't see anything except brightness. Somehow, I was turned upside down and slapped vigorously on the back. Warm fluid came from my lungs and I took a breath of freezing cold air. With it came a world of strange smells as foreign as a Martian landscape. It was horrible. I screwed up my eyes and yelled. And stopped in surprise – the noise I'd made was a baby's scream.

Before I knew what was happening, I'd been wrapped in cloth and was being held tight. Not being able to move was surprisingly comforting. A second baby was crying in the room; I wondered who it was. I was passed to someone. Warmth through the cloth. The voice of the woman holding me.

My eyes still didn't let me see her, but I knew this woman. I'd last seen her, aged 79, in a hospital bed, drawing her last breath as cancer took her from me. It was my mother, young again. I cried.

My life had begun anew and fresh, bright days rolled by as though each were eons long. Every day was a new discovery of my limitations and losses. Of course I was overjoyed to see my parents and sister alive and well again.

But as the days turned to weeks, I felt more and more awake and alive, and I remembered more and more of my previous life. I heard the voices of my parents, and knew they must be speaking English, although I couldn't understand them.

But I could remember being an active human being who used to run a daily five kilometres, and now I couldn't even turn my own head. So every day I had to relearn these skills. Figure out how to think about the world around me. Re-learn the colours, sounds and smells of everything.

Readers' comments

A very possible kind of reincarnation.

One can postulate all sorts of interim states as part of a 'born again' cycle. How about one in which one's past behavior is reviewed, and an objective evaluation determines whether the subject spends time in 'Heaven' or 'Hell'? Whoops, that's what conventional religion believes. The truth is, none of these scenarios has any possible physical basis.
What does have a high degree of probability is a future in which each individual's genetic makeup can be duplicated in a fertilised egg. I leave it to the individual reader to imagine what this can mean.

fertilised?

Fertilized....

Please learn to spell before attempting to sound intelligent.

Fertilized??

Fertilised....

Please learn the visitors country of origin before making disparaging comments regarding spelling and intellect. Not everybody spells like a yank.

fertilised??

In much the same way as not everyone views certain countries and peoples to constitute an "axis of evil" it may just be possible that some do not view the US way of doing things and spelling things to be the correct or only way.

Fertilizeed

As we in the US are the leaderz in the world in everything, pledase adopd our spellingz.

fertilised?

You should know that "fertilized" with an "z" is how you spell it in the USA. In Australia and the UK, we spell it with an "s". Same with civilisation, harbour (with an "u") and centre (vs your center).

Wilson da Silva, Editor-in-Chief

Such anger...

Why would you jump on someone like that? Misspelled or not. Pity to feel that need.

Quite right

Quite right. Differences between US & UK spelling aside, some people who are very intelligent simply have trouble spelling. The brain is a complex organ and intelligence is non-linear.

Groundhog Day

I love this story. Thank you for writing it. As a Buddhist, it both excites me and scares me at the same time.

lolage

I think this is a great story (: I want more!
whats with all the fighting over spelling? let it go n00bs.
lol.